Keystone XL Pipeline Project Officially Terminated

Keystone XL Pipeline Project Officially Terminated

The developer of the Keystone XL Pipeline has announced it is abandoning the controversial $8 billion project after the Biden administration revoked a key cross-border permit in January, marking a major win for environmentalists. What do you think? “I guess any one person who happens to be the president really can make a difference.” Rudolf … Read more

BBQ ruined as neighbour takes thunderous shit with window open

BBQ ruined as neighbour takes thunderous shit with window open

Saturday 5 June 2021 by Lucas Wilde A barbecue has been ruined in spectacular fashion. Jay Cooper had planned on having his family and a few friends over to celebrate the sun showing itself by badly cooking some sausages. “Everything was going well,” confirmed Cooper. “The kids were playing in a way that didn’t require … Read more

Texas Governor Threatens No Pay After Democrats Block Voter Restrictions

Texas Governor Threatens No Pay After Democrats Block Voter Restrictions

Texas governor Greg Abbott says he intends to withhold paychecks to state lawmakers after House Democrats staged a walkout to block voting restrictions that would cut back polling hours and access to mail-in voting. What do you think? “Can he do that? Or does that kind of question not exist anymore?” Jeff Stover • Bookmark … Read more

Johnson places advert for mistress in Times

Johnson places advert for mistress in Times

BORIS Johnson has placed an advertisment for the vacant position of mistress to the prime minister in the Sunday Times.  It reads: ‘Mistress needed for insatiable politician and philanderer, three-syllable first names a plus, pole-dancing experience a must. Reply Whitehall.’ Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and trim co-ordinator Michael Gove said: “Congratulations to Boris … Read more

“I was busy saving lives” insists man with a really terrible track record for saving lives

“I was busy saving lives” insists man with a really terrible track record for saving lives

Thursday 27 May 2021 by Lucas Wilde In a shocking turn of events, Matt Hancock has said something ill-thought-out. The Health Secretary, who 100% led a Scout patrol as a child and thought he was cool for it, said that he did not catch any part of Dominic Cummings’ damning testimony against him as he … Read more

Republicans Worried Blind Worship Of Trump Overriding Traditional Values Like Blind Worship Of Reagan

Republicans Worried Blind Worship Of Trump Overriding Traditional Values Like Blind Worship Of Reagan

WASHINGTON—Unsettled by the direction in which their party appeared to be headed, a small group of Republicans expressed concern Monday that blind worship of former President Donald Trump had begun to erode more traditional GOP values, such as the blind worship of former President Ronald Reagan. “It’s deeply troubling to me that the Republican Party … Read more

Michael Buerk’s 999 and other 90s shows that scared the crap out of you

Michael Buerk's 999 and other 90s shows that scared the crap out of you

ARE you forever haunted by the episode of 999 where the kid got a javelin impaled in his neck? You’ll also remember these: 999 Michael Buerk’s doom-laden voiceover let this show turn any every day activity into a potential death trap, from PE lessons to going for a drive in a Morris Minor. Viewers were … Read more

Weather app about as trustworthy as Boris Johnson

Weather app about as trustworthy as Boris Johnson

The weather app on your phone appears to be telling you what you want to hear, rather than what you should be hearing, according to reports this afternoon. After the weather app told him that the sky was clear and no rain was expected, Simon Williams found himself completely soaked to the skin in a … Read more

Ohio Offers $1 Million Lottery To Boost Vaccinations

Ohio Offers $1 Million Lottery To Boost Vaccinations

Ohio will award five vaccinated adult residents $1 million each in a bid to address vaccine hesitancy in the state, with those eligible having received at least one dose of the Covid-19 vaccine. What do you think? “And there I was a few weeks ago getting vaccinated with no incentive, like a sucker.” Deidre O’Roark … Read more